


Withered Remnant of The One Who Was Scared of Being Loved

by Michevalier



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Respectfulshipping, Revspec, Spectre as Mental Institution Patient, Stressed Author, no happy ending, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 14:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17727137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michevalier/pseuds/Michevalier
Summary: Chained by endless love, Ryoken would always come to visit the one who mattered the world to him.The one who mattered the world to Ryoken was nothing but a withered remnant, killed by this love...





	Withered Remnant of The One Who Was Scared of Being Loved

By this time he had already got used to bitterish stench that was ever-present in these walls. Endless gloomy corridors, indifferent grey faces of local stuff who could never actually understand pain of those rare visitors who would come to visit their beloved ones... forsaken by the rest of the world.

Kogami Ryoken sighed heavily, this sigh came from the very bottom of his aching heart as he gently pushed the irritably creaking door.

But the resident of the room with walls painted snow-white wasn't bothered by neither it nor approaching steps that seemed unnaturally loud in this echoing hush.

In fact, this young man hasn't been bothered by anything for a long time already...

"Hello," Ryoken forced a smile that still ended up the weakest in the history of smiles as he carefully tucked a strand of alabaster hair behind the younger man's ear. "Spectre."

The lifeless shell sitting in a chair and staring at the window with blue eyes made of glass never responded.

The shell of the one who used to be "Spectre" ceased to identify himself as a living being long time ago.

"...Nice view, huh?" Ryoken said to no one, seeing blue sky of exceptional beauty... behind grey, almost black in the sunshine, metal bars.

But it's not like any bars were needed to keep the one who never even bothered to stay truly alive inside.

Inside this den with shiny white walls harboring no hope for the ones locked within.

Den City Asylum was the place stuck outside of space-time continuum as the present would last here forever and no past mattered for its patients as well as no future was in vicinity for them.

"I brought your favourite flowers," Ryoken hated it to the point of every bone in his body being about to break, and yet he sustained that sickeningly sweet smile. "You've always loved white lillies, right?"

No reply.

Spectre that kept on living within memories, inside Ryoken's heart sure has.

This remnant, living statue of Spectre saw nothing, heard nothing, loved nothing.

_And no one._

But no matter how horrific the diagnosis uttered by each and every doctor, the "catatonic stupor", sounded, Ryoken never stopped visiting.

Never stopped hoping to see the tiniest spark of light in Spectre's dead eyes.

"You know..." having put flowers in a vase, Ryoken said queitly. "It's been three years, and yet Kyoko-san never shook the habit of making that much food for dinner... there's always a portion waiting for you."

Ryoken chose to never say it out loud, but every other night he would stay resting, sleeping in Spectre's now former room, keeping his bed warm.

Hating that any smell of Spectre had already vanished without a trace, leaving Ryoken only to fantasize about it, vainly trying to ressurect it in his thoughts.

Half an hour allowed Ryoken for a visit seemed to stretch endlessly as he kneeled down next to Spectre, holding his hand as cold as marble, greedily staring into his stony face, craving to spot the faintest sign of recognition.

...No good.

There was none.

"Spectre..." some time later Ryoken whispered, helplessly pressing his lips onto the back of the younger man's hand. "I'm sorry."

He had a reason to.

The war against the Ignis was akin to a raging storm, catching him into its very core, leaving no time, no strength to take a look back and seriously estimate consequences.

...And Ryoken honestly thought he had learned his lesson after the first time, when the Tower of Hanoi was stopped.

_And yet!_

Spectre ended up being a sacrifice _yet again_.

Ryoken could do nothing but cry out his name, not being able to do anything as his right-hand man... his dear, beloved person was about to get extinguished as easily as a candle by human's fingertips.

And as if that wasn't enough... no, that _wasn't_  enough!

Lighting, who as a threat was now a long time in the past, decided to use the closest to Ryoken's heart person as his pawn.

And Ryoken could never forgive himself for every attack, every damage he was forced to inflict on Spectre.

Every wound to his mind that in the end made it crumble apart, turning Spectre into a living dead man he was now.

Yes, the war was over now, but not Spectre's suffering that doomed him to spend all his days as a patient of the mental facility.

"I..." Ryoken's voice has never been as dull as this, echoing the cold void in his soul. "Forgive me. I..."

Lovebirds' song outside the window was so painful to listen to.

"I love you," Ryoken's words came in such a dissonance with it.

Helpless, useless words, reaching nothing but emptiness.

...Or so he thought.

Completely overwhelmed each and every time, Ryoken would always fail to notice how Spectre's cold pale fingers would twitch.

How that one tiniest spark of life would go unnoticed before disappering into the depth of Spectre's... despair.

Yes, that was the only feeling he was left to live with till the rest of his life.

" _No... No, no, no, no!!_ "

Ryoken would never hear the hysterical cries of Spectre's soul's remnants.

Withered to the point of being a living dead, Spectre was still capable of having an endless struggle with the only idea left within his consciousness.

**He. Was. Unworthy.**

Ryoken never knew it, but it wasn't Lightning's involvement that killed Spectre's mind.

It was the " _I love you!_ " that heartily flew out of Revolver's mouth during his duel against Spectre, the poor puppet in the hands of the evil Ignis.

The " _I love you!_ " was the thing that break Spectre into shards before his Life Points even hit 0.

The " ** _I love you!_** " resonated so strong, indocrinating Spectre's data, so that his brain was unable to make out of it safe and sound. Because...

**NO!**

Who was "Spectre" anyway?

The weakest person in the entire universe, not desired nor needed by anyone... not even by the ones who gave him his very life.

The boy who named himself "Spectre" as it fitted him so well, considering his very place in this cold estranged world.

The _parasite_ who leached onto the first person who ever showed him some kindness and acceptance.

Yes. That who Spectre was. And Ryoken deserved so much better than that, but still...

" ** _I love you, Spectre!_** "

_A terrible mistake on Ryoken's part._

As without ever knowing it, he sent thousands of fractures over Spectre's pitiful heart, crushing it on that very spot.

As Spectre who desired to be loved above everything in the world feared it just as much.

And as the two feelings collided the moment Revolver shouted out his confession, that was when Spectre's essence crumbled apart, leaving nothing behind.

"I love you so much..." and without even realizing it, Ryoken kept renewing the "murdering", awakening the living corpse's reflexes as, unfortunately, Spectre was yet able to hear.

" ** _Please, I don't want it! Never come again!_** "

That was what Spectre would shout were he able to think, to be actually _alive_ , but...

"I will visit again," Ryoken promised, kissing the corner of his lover's lips.

Setting the endless loop of desperate love.

Love that was never to bloom as it was already withered dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... This how it ends up when the writer is stressed out by having two jobs @_@


End file.
